Effective Strategies for Managing Stress in Parents of Neurodivergent Children
- NSC
- Sep 27
- 4 min read
Parents of neurodivergent children often face ongoing stress due to the unique demands of caregiving. This daily stress can impact both physical and mental wellbeing, making it essential to find effective coping strategies that support long-term health and resilience.
Over time, I have explored a variety of approaches to manage stress, such as developing my problem-solving skills, seeking support from others, and prioritizing regular meals, rest, and a healthy diet. However, these strategies are not always practical or sustainable in the context of everyday caregiving responsibilities.
Initially, I was sceptical about the benefits of breathing techniques. I did not fully understand or believe in their effectiveness until I studied psychotherapy and counselling, where I was introduced to a range of relaxation methods, including breathing techniques and mindfulness. This knowledge significantly changed my perspective.
Among the techniques I have learned, controlled breathing has become my preferred method for managing stress. It is practical, accessible, and highly effective. When we experience stress or frustration, the sympathetic nervous system—commonly referred to as the "fight-or-flight" response—is activated. This response leads to an increase in adrenaline, heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate in order to help the body respond to perceived threats (1)(2).
As a result, individuals may experience rapid heart rate, a feeling of warmth, and fast, shallow breathing. However, when breathing is slowed to approximately six cycles per minute (compared to the typical adult rate of 12 to 20 cycles per minute), the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is activated. This activates the vagal nerve, which helps reduce heart rate and blood pressure and promotes muscle relaxation (1)(2).
This slower breathing pattern leads to more efficient oxygen exchange, a more stable physiological state, and a reduction in panic symptoms. Consequently, breathing techniques serve as non-invasive interventions that support autonomic regulation, vagal tone, and stress resilience (3). In addition, slow exhalation helps relax the muscles in the chest, shoulders, and neck, which allows the body to relax first—thereby helping the mind to follow.
From a psychological perspective, controlled breathing provides the mind with a simple and steady point of focus. Concentrating on the breath, often with counting, interrupts racing or anxious thoughts and promotes mindfulness and present-moment awareness. As a result, deep or slow breathing can help prevent or reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and improve overall wellbeing, all at no cost and with very low risk (4).
Different Breathing Techniques for Different Needs
It is important to understand that different breathing techniques are suited to different situations and purposes (5). If a particular technique seems ineffective, it may be due to using it incorrectly or selecting a method that does not align with the intended outcome.
Below are three evidence-based breathing techniques, each with specific benefits:
Benefits:
Reduces stress and anxiety
Enhances oxygenation
Increases vagal tone (parasympathetic activation)
How it works:This technique involves breathing deeply into the diaphragm, rather than engaging in shallow chest breathing. It encourages a slower breathing rate and promotes full oxygen exchange. Diaphragmatic breathing is commonly used in therapeutic settings, mindfulness practices, and yoga.
Breathing Pattern: Inhale (4 seconds) → Hold (4 seconds) → Exhale (4 seconds) → Hold (4 seconds)
Benefits:
Enhances focus and mental clarity
Reduces physiological stress
Stabilizes heart rate and nervous system activity
Common applications: This technique is frequently used by athletes, and in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based practices.
Breathing Pattern: Inhale (4 seconds) → Hold (7 seconds) → Exhale (8 seconds)
Benefits:
Promotes relaxation and sleep
Quickly calms the nervous system
Slows heart rate and reduces anxiety
Origin: This method is based on traditional pranayama breathing from yoga and was adapted by Dr. Andrew Weil for therapeutic use.
Conclusion
Controlled breathing is one of the most effective, evidence-based, and low-risk methods for managing stress and improving emotional regulation. Its benefits are supported by both physiological and psychological research. Importantly, various techniques serve different purposes, so finding the most appropriate method—whether diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing, or the 4-7-8 technique—can enhance outcomes.
As a parent of a neurodivergent child, I have found breathwork to be an invaluable tool in managing stress in various settings, including at home, at work, and in public. With regular practice, even a few minutes per day, these techniques can significantly improve overall wellbeing and build long-term resilience.
I encourage other parents and caregivers to explore and experiment with these methods to discover what works best for them. Have you tried any one of those? Let try it and let me know.
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Thanks for your reading and comments
Author: Hugh Vo (Registered Nurse, NDIS Support Coordinator)
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